8/19/1923 I will be able to breathe once more

Saturday nite

9 pm

Mon Ami –

For 3 long days I have neither heard from you nor written. The former – well?? the latter – ??? pardon me! I’ve been laid up again- Yes, really. Yesterday and in fact for the past week I’ve been just “gone.” Ever since I got home – but especially since I made up my mind I was going to lose 20 lbs never to be gotten again. Now! it’s just about laid me up. I would go in for tennis + run + sweat it off but I just couldn’t for it’s so hot – so instead I’m swimming. I’ve been in as much as I can go in, and I’m starving. I eat enough to satisfy me, very, very little and I live mostly on determination.

Don’t lecture me, I know there’s no use in getting sick over it but for just long enough have I stood for people commenting on it. I hate to look like a dress with mush poured in it. Sometimes I look like someone put their hand on my head + mashed me down – made me as broad as I am tall! I realize, of course, that I am the hardest critic. Other people don’t look as closely as I do perhaps but – well, so much for that. I’m encouraged tho – I’ve been home a week + 1 day and I’ve lost 8 lbs! Hot dog! That leaves 12 more – or 14 – somewhere around that! or maybe more!

I didn’t intend to write tonite ’cause I’ve got lots of other things to be done – several dresses to be finished – several letters to write. My head’s whirling – and I’m physically gone. I swam for 1 1/2 hrs this afternoon stopping long enough to get a breath then I’d go under water again. I swam 60 ft, the length of the pool – back again – 120 ft – nearly all under water, then I’d hang onto the ladder with my feet + practice the hand stroke. I worked and walked on the bottom of the pool as far as I could. Played leap frog under water – and all the rest for an hour and a half. No wonder I’m nearly gone. My head is still full of water. Yesterday I was up town nearly all day. Left about 9 – home at 1 back at 2, home at 4. My aunts to play bridge til 6 – date at 8 – My Dear! When I got to bed last nite I was too sick to sleep and when i did it was 3 a.m. But I had fun. I bought a stamped dress to embroider. It’s nearly all done now, too.  I’ve sure worked. then I bought a blue and grey sleveless sweater. (Yea Rice!) and I’ve nearly finished a cute crepe dress and I’m going to finish my batik dress – and trim it in fur. Hot dog! and I’m going to make an Egyptian turban — ??? I’m getting gay.

But as I started to say, I didn’t intend to write because I knew the letter couldn’t get off till tomorrow anyway – but we’ve been playing the victrola – a whole lot of sentimental pieces, ages old – and somehow I thought of you. So strange, you know, and I just had to write. Three days is an awful long time – But oh! my dear, what has happened in between!!! Hurry home, big boy! I just happened to think that exactly 4 weeks from tonite you’ll be either headed for Houston or here! Gras garçon, 4 weeks – 28 days! Ah! I will be able to breathe once more – for I’ve tried.

I guess I’ll have to leave before I tell you everything and “bore” you to death.

Now that your 12 hr work is over, would you mind writing – once a week? Huh?

Sunday – 11:45 am

Goodness! how sentimental I am getting. I’ve got “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now” on the victrola It’s great – I’ll start it over – and write the words for you, They’re great!!! Huh –

You have loved lots of girls in the sweet long ago.

And each one has meant heavens to you.

You have vowed your affections to each one in turn

And have sworn to them all you’d be true

You have kissed ‘neath the moon

While the world seemed in tune

Then you’ve left her to hunt a new game.

Has it ever occurred to you later,  my boy, that she’s probably doing the same.

I wonder who’s kissing her now

I wonder who’s teaching her how.

I wonder who’s looking into her eyes,

Breathing sighs, telling lighs.

I wonder who’s buying the wine.

For lips that I used to call mine

I wonder if she ever tells him of me.

I wonder who’s kissing her now.

If you want to feel wretched and lonely and blue.

Just imagine the girl you love best.

In the arms of some fellow, who’s stealing a kiss.

From the lips that you once fondly pressed.

But the world goes the pace and to love goes the race

And she goes with a smile and a tear.

So you never can tell who is kissing her now.

Or just whom you’ll be kissing next year.

Of course, Mon Amie, nothing is meant by that. It’s merely a song, C? I played it for you, didn’t I? This morning at S.S. I was thinking thinking and over my heart was a tiny little sword – and I thought of the Sundays I passed by the M. Church + picked you up. Remember? Oh! those glorious Sundays. the times when you miss me so and when I miss you – I’ve thought more of you lately than ever before. Just since July 21 – Before that well, I didn’t think much of anyone. And then you for hurt + I got “bit” and things have been going wrong ever since – and, well, I wish it was this time 3 weeks from now and then it would be only 6 days more. But – it ain’t.

Maybe – or rather, I know, you can help me in the—

I’m so sore today I can hardly move! My arms feel like lead – my back like it’s snapped in the middle – and I’m sure going at swimming next week like fury – I expect to go every day – Glory! how I adore it!

Listen. O.M. your 12 hr a day work is over isn’t it? What are you going to do? Go back to doing nothing? If you don’t write to me once in a while I’m going to sever all friendly relations. Honest! It’s been 5 days. 5.

Well, au revior, mon ami! It’s time for dinner –



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