10/23 I was inspired when I started but my words are all clogged up now

Mon cher –

Another few minutes that I’m going to steal. I’ve had such a glorious time today that I sorta hate to settle down. I’ve worked for an hour on math and so I feel I can spare a few seconds.

I haven’t written to you since you came home, just 7 weeks ago last nite. I don’t intend to start it this year as we did last year but you know, once in a while is all right. This time I’m doing it for pure sentiment.

I don’t know what you think about the subject I’m thinking of now, but I feel that the best thing that ever happened to me happened on Oct, 30-22 when I met you. Fred, if I wrote til judgment I couldn’t tell you what a help and an inspiration your friendship has been – how it has a boosted me on and let me to do this right thing. I couldn’t attempt to tell you how much you have done for me and how much happier I’ve been since I’ve known you. Fred, I never knew I’d ever, ever care as much for any living human beside my mother, as I do for you. I didn’t believe I was big enough to care so much. In fact, sometimes I’m afraid of myself and what I will do because I do care, and that, big boy, has caused the indifferent attitude you believed I had. I didn’t trust myself.

It hardly seems possible now that it has been a whole year that I have gone with you, the most wonderful year of my life, and never for a moment have I have I been sorry that I’ve known you. There hasn’t been a moment that I haven’t shared some thought with you, either with you or alone. Every bit of good news that I find – everything that happens to me makes me think of you – and my first impulse it to tell you about it. Thinking of you has becoming such a habit that I’d feel lost without it. Every boy I meet I compare to you (much to their harm) and I thank fortune and my lucky fates for bringing us together. It has meant more to me than you’ll ever, ever know. You led me to Rice, and I venture I’ll come out of it (either graduated or otherwise) a better girl, more sober and with lots more sense. I’ve sobered down so much now, I hardly recognize myself.

And listen, big boy, about that subject we touched on this afternoon – someone else! Fred, there is no one else. I don’t know whether you’ll believe me or not when I say that. Of course, once in a while (very seldom) I go out. I don’t have time for one thing – and another thing, I don’t care about going. Last year I would have been mildly thrilled to have dates, dates, dates. This year there is only one date I can say I look forward to and am not bored to death with.

That date and that nite seems to belong to me along and has for a year. During the summer while you were gone, a Sat. nite never came that I didn’t wish for you, and it didn’t seem right not to have you here, and you came home on a Sat nite, and since then we haven’t missed one – and those dates, Fred, are the dates. Please believe me when I tell you that I don’t believe out of this wide world I could find a boy I could care more for than you.

I know why I like you, Fred. I never knew before exactly. But the main reason is this. You trust me, and I have from the start, and one who trusts, believes. I never failed you and I trusted you in return, because somehow you inspire trust. No one would say anything bad about you and at first I sought vainly for different opinions about you – but there was only one thing said about you. and I’ve never had occasion to believe otherwise. You are glorious, Fred, dear, and  – oh heck! my vocabulary’s limited tonite.

I can’t say what I want to, I can’t out it down. I started out on a poem but I gave up. I’m too tired.

I told you if you’d look in the funny paper, you’d find the other thing here that belonged to you. I told you that the first letter was M and there was two letters. I also told you it was kinda big and not so useful and that it would be rather embarrasing to tell you. Gaze, mon cheri at the underscored word in this part of the funny paper + you will find out.

It’s 11:30 and I am horribly tired, I was inspired when I started but my words are all clogged up now.

This last thing, Captain Fred, out first year has passed. I always marveled at a boy + girl going together a year because I never have but I know now that about the most wonderful thing that there is, is faith, and friendship, and we have both.

May our second year be as happy and as wonderful as our first and remember that in all this world there’s only one Fred and that one specified Fred has the most vital organ of my body in his keeping – my heart.

Good nite, gras garçon, the sweetest dreams to you, and I’ll be looking forward to the Sat. nites, from now on, as I have before.

Ego amo te

Jamie vous



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