8/6/1924

My very onliest, darlingest, sweetest, and most precious Cap’n Big Boy.

Want me to tell you a secret? Huh – well, here is it! Sh_______? —> I love you!

How’s the great big beautiful world this morning? Hot? I guess so. Tonite is the nite of your test. I’ll think of you, dear boy, and know you’re going to come out better than fine! I know it because you know my prophesies are usually true. But oh! I love you so!

I don’t know just why I love you so hugely today, but I just wish I could be with you a while. Why, you’d pass your test and make the highest on it if you were with me in this mood. I feel different than ever before. Aunt Anna and I talked from 9:30 til 12 last nite mostly about you, and, of course, I was careful of what I said, but oh, Fred, what a good feeling it is to have a real true-blue sweetheart whom you can trust. No wonder I love you so. No wonder I’m hurt when you are bad, but I always know that Freddy boy doesn’t mean it. He couldn’t for true love doesn’t do those things. And I know you love me truly.

San Marcos, Texas

Thursday morning

More than ever do I realize and believe the old saying “Anticipation is greater than realization.” Of course I’ve found out before but never quite like this. I’ve waited only 5 years to come visit Bernice. And during that time I’ve looked forward with more than joy at the idea. Isn’t it funny that I left home to seek joy, happiness and a good time, and when I’m away I find that after all, I’ve left happiness behind – far behind. I’m not happy here. I’m miserable. I’ve been here about 12 hours, and already I detest the place, the people, and Berniece’s house. I find that “all is not gold that glitters.” Perhaps this town is the height of fun and a good time. However, I can’t find it because these good times don’t appeal to me. Fred, I’ve got worse than the blues. I’m so sick, and the ache is down so deep in my heart, I can’t even cry. This is positively the life I loathe – the life I detest, and I don’t see how I can live it for a week without going insane. But what am I to do? I can’t leave Berniece. It would hurt her terribly. She’s never forgive me, but I can’t endure this. here’s the way it is. Remember, dear, you can trust me, for I love you, besides would I do anything I hate, really and trule detest?

Well, I had some wild rides yesterday – at lunch yesterday, Berniece came by Aunt Anna’s and wanted me to pack up and go with her. I did, and we left S.A. in a Ford Coupe and 2 o’clock and then stopped in New Braunfels a while, then on here. At 5 o’clock I was introduced to the family, Gosh!

Then at 6, I proceeded to get ready for a picnic at New Brainfels. Well, here’s the part I detest – all this freedom. I was to go with a boy from here, but he had to work, so I went with another incipid j. b. in an open Ford roadster. Of course, I could have kicked but I thought others was no use being a prude. We planned at first to all go in a Buick, but this other boy couldn’t go and neither could his Buick, so we parted. Of course, the boy was a total stranger, and I detested him. He didn’t touch me, that wasn’t why I hate him. But he was impossible. Anyway, we rode to New Braunfels and I just flew. I was sans hat. We had engine trouble and got there in time to undress, swim 10 minutes and then have to get out. Well, so much for that! We had lunch, then danced. I couldn’t even tell you about the dancing. But I hated it. I hated the men, the boys, the small town girls who think they’re attractive looking like white washed fences, touched up heavily with carmine lips! But I laughed and managed to have a fairly good time so Ber couldn’t see it. My life and hers are very different, I’ve found. Well, anyway at about 10:30, we started on the 20 mile ride, and we got home at 1. The dear old j. b. wanted to show me San M. by nite, and he succeeded. I asked him to take me home, but Berniece hadn’t gotten home yet so we just rode. Oh, nothing happened. But it was so abominable. A bumpy Ford roadster on terrible roads, and I wanted home.

But anyway, we rode and rode and finally pulled in a few minutes after 1. Then Berniece + her date, and me and mine (you know I claim such distinction at having a date with an incipid j. b. whom I hate) sat on the steps and I talked til 1:30 and then went to bed. So at 6 o’clock this morning after a sleepless nite. I got up and tried to figure out a solution to this dilemma. And then I started writing to you. Fred, dear, what can I do? I haven’t even been here a day but I couldn’t endure a week of it. I’d just die. I don’t want to hurt Berniece’s feelings, but I just can’t stay, so what am I to do? I guess I can hold out over the weekend and then leave, but I couldn’t stay a minute longer. Oh, well I’m strong and healthy, I guess. I won’t pass out. But I just will go insane.

I’m about to scream, so I guess I’d better stop. It seems like Fate has played me a dirty trick, and it seems a pity, but I’m getting real cynical about it.

There’s another dance at Lockhart, about 30 miles from here tonite. i don’t know whether I’ll have the nerve to go. I loathe this small town life. Berniece wants to give me a bridge party, pretty soon, but I think I’ll be gone.

Fred, I think my heart’s just slowly cracking. I’ve got an insane desire to just scream and cry.

Remember I love you, dear. I wish you could help me. I don’t know when I can write again. Of course, I’ll do my best.

A wasp stung me yesterday coming over from San A and this morning it’s as big as a house. It’s right on my shoulder blade.

I have to go. I love you – love you – love you – and I’ll see you soon.

Your own

Florence

Don’t address my mail here – send it to S. A. for I expect to leave here very soon. Send it to the same place.

Sat

Dear Old Timer.

Just a word for Mon. I don’t know whether I can write tomorrow. I never know what Sun will bring. But I want you to know I am thinking of you, love you, etc, and as long as it only takes 2 cents to tell you so,  I’m not too proud for that.

Yours,

Florence

9:15 pm Sunday

The Alamo City

Texas

My Dearest Big Boy,

Hero to the rescue! Please come help me. You never knew a more tired more utterly worn out and bruised girl in you life. Oh, I’m impossibly sore! and sick! In the first place. I’m so darned homesick I could cry with every breath-and I want you. And, second, today has been some excitement. At about 11 o’clock we started for New Braunfels, about 30 miles from here. Fred, honestly, it is wonderful. The clear, cold water, all the seaweed, the beautiful rustic spots where one could just live forever, and forget the world. the glorious swimming pool, etc. were marvelous! We had a glorious time. Two cars of us went. My aunt + uncle in one, their 2 kids + me, then my other aunt, her 2 adventurous boys + Sis in the other car – and off we set!

We took a little boat trip up the river after dinner, then we took a little walk, then we took a big swim. My dear, the water was like crushed ice! I nearly froze to death. We stayed in about 3 hours. It’s the clearest,  coldest water I was ever in. I guess I swam miles. But I went across the whole pond holding a show with one hand trying not to get it wet, and I was nearly gone. Sis had to drag me in, But now for the 5 thrills. so new and so maddeningly scary. Really, I’ve been scared before, but never so much so I could hardly move. Here’s the way it was.

There’s a big trolly up on a high stand. I shall draw you a little picture of it. (see letter for illustration)

Anyway. It’s up about as high as the second story of a house – or higher – It looks like it’s up in the sky. But you climb a ladder – a very crazy one, too. and then you climb another ladder. and you finally ascend near Heaven. Then you grab hold of the trolley, give a push, and down you go. Well, I got as far as grabbing the rope, but I was too scared to turn loose and go down. Oh, I was paralyzed. I knew I’d never live to get over it. I couldn’t be a piker so I grabbed for dear life, gritted my teeth, and prayed the good Lord for quick deliverance. I was too scared to scream. But, Fred, it’s fun. Why, it’s the biggest + best thrill I’ve had. Oh, it’s mortally thrilling and scary. I went down 3 times and each time I was as scared as before. Then they all went over to a sliding board as long as a house with one fierce dip in  it. Well, still I couldn’t be a piker, and I was so scared I couldn’t breathe but I closed my eyes + fears + slid and it was slow torture. When I hit the water it was worse then all the spankings you could ever give me. Heavens! But it was anther thrill. That makes 4. Then the fifth was – I saw Bernice there. I think I’m going up there Wed. Bernie was down there for a swim and you can imagine my surprise to see her of all people. We filled up on hamburgers then came home about 8:30 so tired we could hardly move. I’m so tired I hardly have energy enough to drag this pencil across the page. I’m going at snail’s pace even now.

Dear heart, I’m so lonesome for you. You know, I’ve been gone 1 whole day, but so much has happened in those 2 days, I’ve nearly lost all count. The trip was awfully long and terribly tiresome and horribly boring, and I was so dead + my eyes hurt so much, and oh! I was all in. I unpacked and then went to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. So I got up and watched a big search light up town, and cried a little, then I went back to bed + cried myself to sleep for Mother and Fred. I have never been homesick before, but I wanted to pass out. Trip or no trip, I wanted to be home. Today however, I’m a little more sensible and I’m not so impossible, but I’ll tell you, if I don’t get over this very soon, I’m going to wire you to meet me at a certain train, and I’ll be home.

I’m in the dearest home, and everything’s so nice, but – oh well, I’ll get over it.

Say, I’m so sleepy I can’t write anymore. Everything’s blurred and backwards, so I’ll have to say goodnite.

I’m going down to have  shampoo + water wave set in my hair + get some gunk to get my hair to grow, so I have to get up early.

‘Scuse this goofy letter.

I’m your own but sleepy.

xxxxx

Florence

Thursday

Dearest of all dears,

Wish I could instill some of my pep into you. It would be so easily done. But the only way to instil that pep is thru letter.

Man, first let me tell you. I went swimming yesterday and oh, such a delicious swim! It had been so hot all day and oh! that water was ice. I swam about an eighth of a mile, which isn’t very far, then stopped and got my wind, and rested, then swam another 8th up to the deep part, The pool is about 1/4 mile in length. I was all in, of course, and things for pretty black. Well, I swam about 30 minutes, and then we had to get out. But Sis + Maylee were at the dining board which was at the extreme end of the pool, so I went up there to get them. They decided to dine a little more, then come out. And I got real brave, plunged in and determined to go to the shallow end 1/4 mile away without stopping. Oh, man, it was the longest swim I ever, ever took! and I nearly choked + strangled half way thru. I did the crawl, swimming mostly under water, you know, all the way, and Fred, I swam all the way! I’m so dog gone proud of myself, I’m getting the swell head! Really?

I’ve only lately learned the crawl stroke, and man, to think I swam 1/4 mile. Dog gone it all, you know why it makes me feel so good? Well, simply because you excel so darned high in all other athletics, and you are worth while in most everything but swimming, and you’re going to be in that some day, but I’m sorta catching up in the other things but I sure out shine you in the water, and I’m so proud of it, I could shout. Man, you’re going to have the race of your life if you try to beat me in the water. Come on, old socks, and see where you land. Don’t watch me dust, but watch my splash. I’ll chase you to Jerico and back. Ha-Ha!!!

You better learn to swim. Don’t let a mere girl, even if she is your girl, out shine you in any athletics. And say, don’t hold your breath to swim. My dear, I’m such a fish I breath under water. Mercy, you can’t make 3 strokes without having to stop + take another breath. Oh boy, I’m dying to get home and show Fred Stancliff the champion weight man of the South something about athletics. Ha-Ha

Say, sweetheart, don’t get offended at all this. Truly, I didn’t mean to razz you so hard, but as I said I’m so dog gone proud of myself I could eat ice cream – woof woof!

But here’s another thing that peps me up. I’ve chased away every one of the blue devils except a big longing to see Freddie-Boy. But I feel a world better. Are you sorry? I’m not, for now I can enjoy my trip. Yes, sir, really enjoy it. And don’t worry, dear old pal, when I can conveniently and politely slip away from these folks, I shall come sailing back to you. Remember “The Love Ship”

“Sail back, little love ship

Sail back into port.

Sail back with your treasure of gold.”

Your love ship will sail home soon, dear. Only my conscience makes me stay, altho now I’m going to enjoy it a little more.

I want you dreadfully, Fred dear. Each minute and each day makes the longing stronger in my heart. And oh! dearest heart, I wish you were here.

Ira Boyd yesterday looked up at me, with real big eyes and said “Where’s Fred?” I said “Darling, Fred is at home in Houston.” He said “I love him. Why won’t he come over here?” I said “I love him, too, and he can’t come over here.” Ira Boyd wanted to know why. I said, “Cause he had to stay home and make money to buy him some eats and a place to stay, and then save some to go to school.” Then the bright child asked me if I got any of Fred’s money. I said “Well, hardly, it hasn’t come to the point of his sharing his money with me?” He wanted to know what you made it for, if not to give it to me.

Well, I gave up and admitted defeat in the 3rd round.

Maryanna asked my why Fred didn’t come over to see me, I told her because he lacked the spendulies. Isn’t that so?

Listen, may I ask you something? Why no letter today? Are you so blue that you haven’t even the energy or desire to write me? You know, I feel just a tiny bit hurt when you don’t write. It’s true that it seems unnecessary to write every day, but you know I’ve braved the ridicule and being made fun of by these folks who say I do absolutely nothing except write letters and most of those letters are to Fred. I don’t agree with them, of course, but, dear boy, they say that I shouldn’t write you every day because you don’t answer them. If you wrote every day, you would have the right to demand a letter every day, Big Boy, I’ve stood that nearly every day, but in spite of it, I continue to write you every day, almost religiously as I eat. Now, dear, I realize how hard it is to write when you don’t feel well, when you’ve come home tired and Emily cuts up her usual tricks, etc, and oh, I realize and understand, but the other folks don’t. But I have had 3 days to go by and not a word from Fred. I got a dear special Mon nite, no letter Mon, of course, and none – No, wait, that’s wrong. I didn’t get a letter Mon. a special Tuesday, no letter Wed, and here Thursday has nearly passed, and still no letter. Well, dear boy, I shan’t fuss, but I do wonder. When it’s twice as hard, inconvenient and difficult for me to take the time to write, why I’ve managed somehow to write nearly every day. I’ve missed only 2 days I think since I’ve been gone.

I started to send this other letter special, then put this one in another envelope, so you’d get one tonite and then one tomorrow. But it’s too late for the morning train, so I shan’t do it. You won’t get it any sooner so I shan’t.

I can’t or won’t promise you so many more letters. Perhaps I can write – perhaps not.

According to these folks, I never get thru writing letters, and, of course, I must write to Mother and others.

Well, I must go Sis + I are going to town for lunch.

So au revior for now.

I love you hugly.

Your own,

Florence