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Big Boy Sweetheart,

Did a little birdie ever whisper something in your ear? Yes? Well, let this little birdie whisper something to you. He’s from way down south where the sun is brightly shining and the stars keep watch at night, and he tried to sing my tired eyes to sleep. He’s the little bird which lives out in our plum tree. A beautiful little blue bird, who sings and sings all nite long, trying and trying to sing me to sleep. It’s unusual for a bird to sing all nite but this one does. He is the blue bird of happiness, and because the summer’s here, he is trying to make others happy by his song, but somehow his song saddens me. Why? Would to Heaven I knew!

My dearest boy, the man who said “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” said such a huge mouthful that I’m surprised he didn’t choke so hard, he just up and died! Oh, but give me presence and a little less affectionate heart, I think, altho in this case, the heart would not be less affectionate! I love you more than is good for either of us, and I’m just dying for another of our nites – our old Sat nite dates! I thought I could keep busy and kinda relieve the awful emptiness and loneliness. So far, I’ve failed. Already I’ve begun to plan just what I would say when you come home, and since you’ll be out of training we’ll go to Galveston, and Sylvia to dance, we can have supper in the woods, and maybe some Sunday afternoon, we can go on a long tramp through the woods. We can dance over here, for most of the girls are here, and oh! there’s endless things to do, but not without you! I can’t and won’t take my fun with another boy! Mother nearly grasped me by the hair and dragged me around the house when I told her that, when she was planning something, and I flatly refused to go with anyone. She wanted to commit murder. But I can’t play false to another boy and I just can’t be civil to come of them, and I always think of you and compare them to you, and it just don’t work!

But perhaps I had better forget the fun, because if you go to Paris, it will be months before you return. Big Boy Fred, can I —

I know you’ll write as often as you can, but oh! man, I think if I ever get you back alive and whole, heart and fancy-free, I think I’ll tie myself to your suspenders, so that you can stretch away but you can’t loose me.

Anyway, I don’t want to be a draw back to you, so I had better hush.

The message that the little bird carries is a kiss, and the three little words, and since I don’t guess I’ll write again, unless you don’t go across, why the little bird will tell you that I’ll be waiting – waiting for you to come back.

As ever,

Florence

If you don’t go across, you might find a letter waiting at Kansas City.

F.M.P.

June 6, 1924

To Wash DC and returned

Dearest old Cap –

Say, what the dickens are feministic creatures for, anyway?!! They’re about the uselessest animals in this part of the world. I believe about all they’re good for is to cook, sew and cry. Heavy on the latter.

Cry! I never imagined I had stored away within me as many tears as I have parted with today. I know now what that old saying means, “It seems you’ve been gone for a year, sweetheart, but you’ve only been gone a day. When you left me far, far behind you, you took my heart away.” I always thought that the man who wrote that sweetly sentimental and wrote a lot of bunk. He didn’t tho. He told facts! Oh, my dearest Big Boy.

I don’t want to make this a sob letter because that’s a h- of a letter to get when you’re far away and expecting to have a good time an see the world. It’s better to have a letter that reminds you that someone misses you, and is watching the mails carefully and so anxiously for a word, but it’s different to get a letter telling that folks are grieving for you as if you had gone away for years instead of only a few months.

It’s so foolish, and perfectly insane or me to cry. I’ve thought and thought why I cry so much, but I can’t figure it out. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to go, for, I’m so glad for you to have the wonderful opportunity to be one of a very few in the country who gets the opportunity. I’m glad it’s you who are getting the glory and fame instead of Day vault or any other of the southern discus men. You are worthy of higher things. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to go, neither was it because I was either selfish or little enough to be pitying myself and the fun I’m missing. That hardly enters my mind. It isn’t that I’m afraid I’ll lose you, for I’d trust you anywhere with anyone and know that you’d come back to me the same clean boy, strong mentally and physically as you are now. I know that you’d return to me and want me to share your honors. You’ve been too true blue, Fred, for me to fear losing you. I’ve thought of everything bu still the lump rises in my throat and hot tears come to my eyes.

Fred, never as long as I live will I forget this morning. I found that altho my heart may be nearly breaking I can still smile. I sent you off with a smile and a word of good cheer as I’ve always done. I could have kicked myself around the block 500 times last nite when I broke down and started the sob stuff. Of all times in the world why couldn’t I have kept smiling? But I had spent 2 sleepless nites, and I was nervois and upset, and it just finished me when you said good bye. You were so adorable and I thought that would be the last nite I’d see you for maybe months. I shan’t even try to get anyone to fill up those nites. I’m going to wait for you, however long it may be.

Fred, somehow tonite I feel almost hopeless. I feel as if my excuse for living had suddenly been taken away. Mother says I look as if I had just put on mourning and buried my best friend. Nothing nearly so dramatic as all that. I have merely been to the train, seen the dearest pal on Earth leave and then watched the train go around the bend and out of sight. And the card fade away. After that the lump in my throat gets about 5 times as big as it was before and my eyes fill up, but I don’t shed a tear no, sir not a one. We shop a while, I say the sun of about a dozen words, then I leave the folks and go to the picture show. There was only about 5 people in there because it was so early. Well, they had some sort of a sob story so for the entire length of the picture, I do more weeping than the sobbing heroine. All to myself, however. At one o’clock I leave because I can’t bear it any longer. I walked around our town, then phoned mama that I wouldn’t be home until later, and took in another picture show. I started to get a sandwich for lunch but I didn’t think I could eat it, so I didn’t get one. Then about 3:30 I got home and walked the house over, trying to find something to do, but such was not possible, so I cried some more, for maybe an hour. Then I eat a tomato, a piece of ham and about 2 bites of bread for supper and then I start in again. Great heck! I think I’m over it now, tho. Heaven knows I’ve wept enough tears to fill a drinking cup. Any why I couldn’t say.

Big Boy, all thru the picture shows I would think of that last moment with you. Of how I felt when the train left – but mostly I thought of that kiss. Did it seem so different to you? Did it seem to you to have the depth of meaning and love that it had for me?

Somehow, we’ve let our kisses go beyond being only the love ones, but they have none of them ever had the sweetness, the tenderness and pure ideal love that your kiss had this morning. It spoke more than the words ever could and it meant more. I wonder if your mother was violently shocked. But she knows I love you with all my heart and soul. And she also knows that that love is just as strongly returned by you. Oh, big boy, I wouldn’t take the whole world for you, either in money or travel. I only want to prove more worthy of your love, and to love you with a clean, pure, unselfish love. You mean so much to me that I could never give you up. I guess it’s a tiny bit of selfishness in always wanting you near me that makes me cry and long for you.

I feel a hundred percent better now, tho. Since I’ve talked with you a minute, I don’t feel nearly so weak and shaky or blue, I somehow can’t realize you’re gone, but I do know that from now on , I shan’t allow myself to become so horribly depressed. I’m going to keep busy and wait.

Please, big boy, write to me just as often as you can, for it means so much. And if you see some little dime remembrance of some of those places on the other side of the globe, were Rice to send you another dime, and jazz it down here to me, won’t you. Just any thing. and if you find a little pet monkey, why send me that, too. Remember, tho, I’d much much rather have a special delivery letter than a dime novelty.

I guess I’d better ring off for tonite. Everybody has gone to the Dawson violin

June 5, 1924

Dearest of all big athletes

Did you think your very own darling would even consider letting you go off where you couldn’t hear from her very often without fixing up some plan for making you remember that there’s always one who loves you back in the home town (not meaning El Campo) waiting – waiting – watching every mail for a word, and waiting til the one she loves comes back. (Gosh, that’s all one sentence – some mouthful! SO here’s my plan. In each of the enclosed letters you’ll find something to remind you that there’s one in the world who has stuck by you thru thick and thin. There’s one, big boy, who can’t say she’s glad to see you leave her, but who is really so proud that it is her “Cap’n Bog Boy” who is getting the honors and glory which he has earned and deserved.

Of course, dear heart, I haven’t been thinking or considering the Olympics when I’ve refused to either let you go to dance, etc. because you were training. Somehow, it never entered my mind that you would ever gain the fame and glory you have now. I was only trying to be the pal you love. I only wanted to help you train and keep the temptation out of your way. It was hard sometimes to say “no” when people would ask me to a dance. i wouldn’t go with another boy, for somehow, strangely, it’s never the same without Fred. A dance is almost meaningless and dull when you aren’t there. Boys in comparison with you are so darned incipid and shallow compared with my Big Boy. So I’d rather sacrifice my fun, and wait until Fred can go with me, and then I’d know I’d have a better time. You know, they say when a person’s in love they think, dream and exist on but one thing, that’s the one of their dreams. And, of course, neither your heart nor mine have been moved by the “gentle passion” of love. Personally, at the present moment I’m immune from loving —– (anyone but you)

I never realized or believed that you would ever go as far up in sports as you have. I tried to help you train merely because it was right, because I wanted you to win. And Fred, you have won! Do you know that you have gained the next highest step in Sportsdom, and do you know that deep, deep in her heart Gypsy Sunshine believes that strength (which at times you have used on me, pardon) will somehow come forth and make you throw that discus far – far out into the field – and win – perhaps a second place. The gypsy who knew you at first, and who later took you into her heart and home prophesies that you won’t be beaten.

If you follow the directions on the rest of the letters I’m sure you won’t get horribly lonesome for me and I’m also sure that even tho you are chasing around too much to get many letters, these that are here will keep you from being too lonesome. Remember, tho, Big Boy, I love you almost better than life itself, and win for me, won’t you?
Florence.